Mr Edwards gives his 10 pence worth of opinion to the world and tries to gain what Andy Warhol promised us all.

Monday, November 24, 2003

It has been brought to my attention that a MR Paul Riley of Cheadle, Staffordshire Moorlands, came up with the bastard old comments that I made in my last entry. I apologise for any mental distress this may have cause and hereby offer a full retraction.

Right, first things first, sorry about the text blitz on saturday morning. I meant to send the message to one person and ended up doing "send to all". How hilarious it was to discover the delivery reports an hour later! In mitigation I will point out that I sent the message after falling off a groyne (one of those bits of wood that stick into the sea) and into the English Channel so I was a little distressed as my trouser legs were severely soaked.
Watched a programme on the conspiracy theories about the assasination of JFK last night. You know, I was quite a big fan of Oliver Stones film until I found this website. I don't know, maybe it's more worrying that nobody controls anything rather than a huge conspiracy about shadowy cabals. Maybe the thought that some nut can grab a rifle and take out one of the most important people in the world just shows how mortal we all are. Either that or there really is an evil group of Bilderbergers who make pigeons shit on cars.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

There now follows a quick list of things that i've been doing this past week. Before I do that i'd better wish happy birthday to my friend Jo, i'm a week late but what isn't on this blog? I hear George Bush Jnr might be visiting Britain sometime soon by the way. I won't mention her age save to say that I only ever refer to her being "bastard" old although I might have to drop this title as she informed me that she stayed up til 5 AM on a recent trip to Prague. I struggle to make it through the day without nipping off to have a bit of a kip at work.
* To give you an indication of how busy I am at work I will now supply a list of amusing football team names I found whilst on the internet at work today;
Tuff Dogs (Bermuda A-Division) Sound like a bunch of mongrels.
Harlem Rocks (Dominica All Nations Competition) Bit of a statement.
Licks and Laugh (Saint Vincent & Grenadines) Isn't that the title of a porn film?
Just for the fun (Saint Vincent again) And why not?
Joe Public (Trinidad & Tobago 2nd Level) Team of the people.
Carpet Masters (Guam Budweiser League) Sponsored by Dyson?
Stay Cool (Ghana Premier League) Is this a better team name than Hearts of Oak?
And last but most certainly not least comes;
Deportivo Wanka (Peru Premier League) They are real. Honestly.
* I'm going to start running a poll on the most annoying Christmas adverts on TV. Neck and neck at the top at the moment are those Argos ad's with Richard E Grant and the Homebase ad's (of course). Let me know if there anymore out there.
* SSX 3 rocks my world. My thumbs have nearly been worn away.
Finally i'll send out my best wishes for a speedy recovery to Michel Kuipers, Brightons goalkeeper, who was in a car crash this morning. The former Dutch SAS Chef only suffered minor injuries and I hope i'll see him back in goal soon.

Monday, November 17, 2003

Said in a Noddy Holder stylee. It's November I hear you say? Since when did that stop anybody celebrating the birth of Santa? The Christmas lights are going up in Uckfield so that means it's Christmas ok?

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Well I had a very nice weekend away in Hamburg. Watched football, got drunk, watched some more football and went to the cinema. A few questions have arisen from my trip.
1)I thought we won the war. How come we've ended up with Coventry and the Germans got Hamburg?
2)We should be allowed to drink beer AND watch football at the same time. Watching a gamw with a pint in your hand makes it a much better experience. I know for a fact that watching Brighton would be a lot more enjoyable if I could drink a few pints DURING the game.
3)Isn't the 3rd Matrix film rubbish? I watched it in German and even with my basic grasp of the language I could tell the script both sucked and blew.
4)I wonder what right-wing commentators reactions would be if we started having the same relaxed attitude to sex as people in mainland Europe. We'd all be riding that handcart to hell I think.
And finally a question that has nothing to do with my trip,
5)Is this the most obvious statement ever made in a song? "I know that it's somebodys birthday in the world tonight". That's from R Kellys latest offering. I mean what's that about? Given the amount of people in the world then it's pretty bloody likely that it's somebodys birthday. It's like saying "you know, I bet somebody's laughing right now in America". Stating the bleeding obvious. Having said that, I know for a fact that it is somebodys birthday tonight, my friend Suzy is celebrating tonight so that R Kelly lyric is for her.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Sorry about the delay people. I've been locked in my room for the past few days until the fireworks have stopped. Freak me out a bit that's all.
What's been happening out there then? Well Spiderman has ended his one man protest. I can't help but think that his behaviour is hardly likely to have a judge giving him unrestricted access to his children. A man who not only climbs up a crane over Tower Bridge but does so wearing a Spiderman costume has to be a few pints short of a round.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Halloween then. I'm sorry but I don't understand why we get kids to dress up as scary creatures and try and scare old people into handing over sweets. Just escapes me that's all. Mind you, in Stoke I never answered the door to trick or treaters. They would start knocking on doors at least 3 weeks before the 31st of October and I would always ignore any knocks on the door and make my housemates answer the door to the badly dressed pikeys and let them take the rap for any potential eggings to our house.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Mark McGhee it is then. Happy with the choice I am. He's been there and won that and let's hope he makes it three in a row with the Albion.
Some other matters then. Got an e-mail from Friends-reunited today. Now I haven't updated my description for ages (still talks about me doing teacher training, we'll scratch that I think) but I had a look at my University year entry and i'll be frank, it scared me. Not as much as Ghostbusters opening sequence, but still a certain chill ran up my spine. I always thought that I knew a lot of people at University, that I was quite popular. I did acting, played records in public, belonged to a few societies. I only know 10 people out of 311. That's not a good percentage, I thought that I was somebody. I haven't experienced the giddy thrill of celebrity at all!
No, that's not true really. I was once stopped by a girl (really, a real live girl!) who congratulated me on my performance in a play I had been in the previous night. The best celebrity moment I ever had though, was when a small boy approached me in HMV in Hanley and told me that he thought I had been great in a play he had seen last night. I should have given him a pre-signed autograph but I wasn't quick enough. I do worry that I may have been looking at an embarrasing CD or video at the time. This seems to happen to me in music shops. No sooner have I picked up something by the Proclaimers or the DVD of "Pearl Habour" than someone says "alright Tom, what are you looking at?". Bad scenes, bad scenes.

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